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My Utterly Pointless Smosh Fic

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This is definitely the most random, stupid, and pointless thing I've ever written. XD
Ian snapped awake from his dream to find himself still sitting in his computer chair where he had dozed off. His head was tilted to the right in a position that looked highly uncomfortable, and slobber was drooling onto the arm rest. He grunted and sat up again, wiping the spit from his face and looking around the room. It was dark now. When had it gotten dark? With a shrug, he moved the mouse that was connected to the desktop computer and waited for the screen to come back.
Then he screamed. Right there, on his computer screen, was the most awful thing he had ever seen. It was... was... WAS! Anthony. That's right! On Ian's very own personal computer screen was the face of his best friend, smiling all huge-like. Then the picture started laughing evilly as a yellow bar appeared at the bottom of the screen that read 'Haha, I put a virus on your computer while you were asleep.'
"NOOOOOOO!" the fluffy-haired man who was apparently 22 but didn't look it cried out.
He was then shaken awake by someone and brought back to the real world to find a concerned Anthony looking down at him.
"Hey, Ian... You okay?"
"What'd you do to my computer, you horrible person? You monster!"
The other man blinked. "I didn't do anything."
"Then how do you explain... THIS!?" Ian exclaimed, hitting the spacebar.
But the picture from his dream wasn't there. Instead, there was a lovely picture of their prom night in high school. Ian was wearing a blond wig, and his face was covered in make-up, and Anthony was standing next to him. Their arms were around each other, and they were both grinning broadly for the camera.
"Uh... That was prom, wasn't it? You couldn't find a date and my girlfriend had just broken up with me, so we went together. Why do you still have that anyway?"
The one sitting in the chair felt his face flush. "It's not what you think! I just... I haven't gotten around to taking it down yet. You know, too busy hangin' with the ladies."
The other raised an eyebrow, carefully seating himself atop the desk and looking his companion over. "Really? Come to think of it, Ian, I've never actually seen you with a girl."
"I'm with you all the time."
"Haha. But really... You're not... You know..."
"No!" Ian exclaimed, his face turning a dangerous shade of red. "I'm not gay!"
Anthony cocked his head. "I was going to say 'a robot clone', but that works too!" He flashed his friend a wicked smirk and got up from his perch on the desktop, fleeing from the room.
Ian rolled his eyes and turned back to his computer to go on facebook, then he stopped, jumping to his feet. "What works too?" he demanded in a high-pitched and shrill voice, chasing his best friend out of the room.

The next day, a new video was posted on YouTube in which Ian admitted to being gay. That didn't surprise him. But what did surprise him was that it was reccommended to him on his home page. After watching it, he began searching the room for any sort of recording device and almost didn't find one until he picked up the random teddy bear that had appeared in his room the other day. That bear had always seemed to weigh a bit too much!
He discovered the AnthonyCam4.0 located directly in the left eye of the stuffed animal, and he glared menacingly at it while Anthony's laughter could be heard from the room next door.
"Laugh while you can, Anthony. Laugh all you want! But we'll see who's still laughing once I get my revenge!"
"Honey, are you yelling at your stuffed animals again?" Ian's mother sighed, appearing in the doorway.
Ian smiled a pleasant smile. "Yes, Mommy. My doctor told me it's good to let out my frustration on inanimate objects."
"Oh, well then by all means, go right ahead."
And with that, she left the room, leaving the young man to cackle evilly at his completely normal and totally plausible plot.

The day after that, Anthony was casually surfing the web when he came across a strangely titled YouTube video. It was entitled 'Anthony Padilla making out with his stuffed dinosaur. MUST SEE!'
The man's eyes narrowed, and he very reluctantly clicked on the link. Just as the title had explained, there he was, lying on his back on his bed and kissing his pink stuffed t-rex directly on the mouth and all over it's face while he wailed 'Oh yes! I love your soft pointy teeth and your big hard eyeballs and your pointy horns! You're such a great kisser, Fluffy!"
And that was just the beginning! From that video, the upload continued to play, showing Anthony slow dancing around his bedroom with a giant stuffed Pikachu on the top of a broom handle. "You're such a great dancer, Pikachu!"
His face was red now, and his eyes were bulging with anger. He should've known that Ian wasn't just being nice when he placed that fat bear in his bedroom! After a few deep breaths, the young man opened his mouth to scream.
"IAN! YOU'VE REALLY DONE IT THIS TIME! I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU AND MAKE IAN SOUP! THAT'S RIGHT! IT'S LIKE CAT SOUP... ONLY IAN SOUP!"
He jumped to his feet and charged from the room then, muttering to himself about what he was going to do to the other man in a low voice like a madman. He ran down the hall, barely even remembering to stop at Ian's bedroom door. Ian's mom hated for people to mess up the house, so he stopped and very carefully opened the bedroom door only to find an empty room and Ian's shoe slipping out the bedroom window.
"IAN GET BACK IN HERE SO I CAN RIP YOUR LIVER FROM YOUR SPLEEN AND CUT OUT YOUR EYES!"
But the other man had already fallen off of the roof in terror. He hadn't expected Anthony to get this mad!
In his rage, Anthony picked up the nearest weapon that he could find in Ian's room and climbed out the window, following his friend's footprints all the way into the woods out back.
Both men ran through the woods, dodging flying rocks and ducking to avoid hitting flying trees... or pigs. The chase went on well into the evening until Ian finally had to give up. He collapsed to the leafy ground beneath his feet and decided to start begging for mercy as Anthony approached with what had to be the most dangerous weapon in the world in his hand: a rubber duck.
"No! Anthony, don't kill me! It's me, remember? Ian! Your best friend!"
But the other man was still just barely making his way towards Ian, panting heavily. As he finally approached, he dropped to the ground on his knees, clutching his aching side.
"I... Ian... I... I finally..." he took a deep breath. "I got you..."
"What?" the other sat up, his fluffy brown hair now a mess of leaves and pinestraw.
"It was a joke, Man," Anthony breathed, tossing the yellow rubber duck at his buddy.
Ian picked it up from the ground to observe it, turning it over. Right there, on the bottom of the yellow duck in tiny print was 'Made in China'.
But right next to that in huge blue letters it read 'AnthonyCam4.1'.
Laughing joyously, Ian crawled over to his best friend who was sprawled out on the ground on his back and lay down next to him, returning the duck.
"That's gonna be the best Smosh video ever!"
"Hell yeah," Anthony exclaimed with a grin. "Now... How do we get out of this forest?"
Both of them looked at each other, eyes wide as Bigfoot roared somewhere nearby and Shane shot across their line of vision in a hurry to catch the homosexual beast.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

Anthony and Ian both snapped awake then, sitting up in their sleeping bags. They looked at each other and screamed in horror at the messed up hair and the tired eyes. Then they looked around, both exclaiming, "Dude! I had the craziest dream!"
I did this on a dare, but it was actually pretty fun. I enjoy Smosh and I kind of miss their old really funny stuff anyway. I am not in any way insulting Smosh if it seems that way. I love those guys. Also, I do not own Smosh or Anthony or Ian or even Charlie. Nor do I own Shane Dawson or anything related to him. He's just awesome as well. That's why it's called FANFICTION. So for all you people who want Smosh fanfiction, here you go. There's no gayness. Sorry, but it just didn't fit. <3
© 2010 - 2024 RavenAngelxX
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Shane? Shane! Shane Dawson! OMG!